Several weeks ago, Martin (he works for me and is a little like my Tonto.) and his partner Carleen decided to go self-efficient. They’ve been conscious about being green & organic for a while now and had made a conscious effort to play their part.

Their recent project of growing their own vegetables at the allotment haven’t really been very successful. So, they have decided to go for chickens!!! Not for their meat but for their eggs.

It is a noble idea – Adopt/rehome ex-battery hens so they can enjoy a free range retirement whilst still producing eggs.

It was all going as planned. The adoption was arranged. Time for collecting the chickens was agreed. The chicken run was ordered – Delivery date confirmed. Feed ordered……

But like all the best laid plans – Something had to go wrong!!!!!

The delivery of the chicken run was handled by Amtrak. They tried to deliver it to Martin’s home address. However, no one was in to receive it. The delivery was scheduled for the next day. Of which, Martin was not able to receive it (again). It then went back to the depot somewhere in the UK. Martin rang the company which sold him the chicken run to see if they can have it re-delivered back to the work address (Upon my BRILLIANT suggestion, of course!!!). The company then said that there will be a charge of £45 for re-delivery & packaging.

Packaging? “WHAT PACKAGING!!!!” yelled Martin like a screaming queen (That’s what happens to straight guys when they mix around way to much in the company of gay folks!!! Not that I’m a screaming queen, mind you!!!!). Anyway, a price was agreed for the re-delivery – £25, which I thought was fair enough.

Here’s where the fun begins. Amtrack, the delivery comapny, then decide to go bust and go into administration. All deliveries are re-routed and handled by Business Post……

No sign of chicken run anywhere!!!!

Many phone calls later ( panicking a little here, Martin that is, as the chickens wil be arriving on Saturday and it’s already Friday, and there is still no sign of the delivery of the chicken run…..DAMN!!!!), the company that sold the chicken run said to Martin they’ll try and sort something out. Later that afternoon, they said that they have received the chicken run back and will dispatch them out to him immediately and to the work address!!

BTW, chicken arrived on Saturday, and had to temporarily live in the greenhouse.

So, Monday came and Monday went. No sign of delivery. This morning, I received a phone call from Martin (he’s at home since it’s his day-off):

Martin: Guess what?
Wardi: What?
Martin: The chicken run arrived here.
Wardi: What? Really? I thought you wanted it to be re-delivered here at the shop?
Martin: I did. But when I got home from my driving lesson this morning, I found a Business Post van parked outside my house, trying to deliver the chicken run.
Wardi: What a bit of luck, eh? Just as you got home. Otherwise, we’d have to go through all the malarkey all over again.

Anyway, the morning passed….. I got seriously bored (as usual). A UPS delivery man popped his head into the showrom:

UPS: Excuse me, what number is this building?
Wardi: 2 Norfolk House…
UPS: Great!!! I have a delivery for you

Yup!!! You’ve guess it!!! Another set of chicken run for Martin.

Anyone fancy having a go at keeping chickens? Martin has a spare chicken run available!!!!! ROFL.