I got home from the store this afternoon only to find this message on the answer-machine from my vet. I AM NOT HIS MRS!!! You incompetent shite!!! Get that in your thick, f**king stupid, heterosexual head!!! We are a gay couple, yes you heard right – same sex relationship/partnership. There is no such thing as a Mr & Mrs for us.

Well, perhaps Tilly/Timmy/whatever-her-name is new at the practice and didn’t know any better. Sheesh!! How long have we been going to your practice? Ben is 12 years old and Jazmyn is 9 this year, so making it 11 YEARS NOW that we have been coming to your practice!!! I have taken the dogs there on my own, his lordship has taken the dogs there himself, and we have both taken the dogs there. TOGETHER!! Surely it’s in your records (obviously not!!!) that Ben & Jazmyn, the gorgeous dalmatians, belong to Mr. Sanusi & Mr. Aspinwall. NOT MR. & MRS. ASPINWALL!!!!!! At what point in time did Mr. Sanusi get deleted from your database?? Huh?? …..Twat!!!

So, what’s making me so pissed off?

Why is it that heterosexual people have the need to resort to a heterosexual frame of reference when it comes to homosexual relationships – A traditional husband-wife role where one partner is “the man” and the other “the woman”. This smacks of the oft asked question of gay male couples, “Which one of you is the ‘woman,’” or, “Which one of you is the ‘wife’?”

This suggests that even a gay male couple must conform to straight norms in some way. We’re both men!! I find this imposed stereotypical image of masculine-feminine roles in a homosexual partnership disgusting & demeaning.

What? The “Mr” in a gay relationship is “the man”? The bread-winner? Performs the “masculine” household tasks? Takes on the male role in sexual behaviours and acts? Whilst the “Mrs” is the effeminate, limp-wristed “woman” who cooks, and perform other feminine tasks such as shopping or cleaning? The “Mrs” is the sexual “bottom” whilst the “Mr” is the sexual “top”??

Granted, some gay men are more masculine/feminine than others, but we DON’T choose a ‘male’ or ‘female’ role, especially not when we enter a relationship. How much more “masculine” or “feminine” we behave is only part of our genetic make-up. The more “masculine” of us do not specifically seek the more “feminine” to be our “wife”. Nor do the more “feminine” of us specifically seek out that butch, manly type for “husbands”. We find each other because we love each other.

Sheessh!!!!